grrr
why is blogger posting without paragraph breaks? that is annoying as hell. FTR, there were paragraph breaks when i wrote all of these posts... and they were very strategically placed. now i just look...
View Articlepictures and presents
i guess i have a lot to say today. i want to bring a gift for Susan tomorrow. what does one buy the woman who is responsible for the fact of one's very existence and who has proven herself as unselfish...
View Articlebookworms
i spent a long and lovely afternoon at barnes & noble. i was in pursuit of two things: a birthday gift for my dear dear friend D, and the perfect book to give as a gift to Susan. the first part was...
View Articlepanic?
i generally do not panic. ever. i don't even startle anymore after those years of employment in residential treatment. sometimes i forget to react at all, even when it is clearly expected.... i don't...
View Articlecreepy
ok, i posted that last bit and i got an immediate ad for something that "stops panic attacks." sometimes i am creeped out and grossed out by the internet. just sayin'.
View Article4 hours....
this time i am not even trying to hide the fact that i am blogging at work. door is wide open, soul exposed to the world, brain all a-flutter and that ever-present grin on my face. i can't believe this...
View Articlepeace like a river...
i spent six hours with Susan yesterday. three hours in Julie the Social Worker's office and three hours at my grandfather's house. it was surreal. it was perfect. i spent the time being so dumbfounded...
View Articletick tock tick tock
every single moment that goes by feels like another moment i wish i could have talked to Susan. i want her to know how much my heart is bursting right now. i want her to know how much i love her. i...
View Articleflutter flutter flit flit
my heart is all wonky. it is beating all fast and weird and my insides are vibrating again. after my completely useless day of inability to function at my job, i talked to Susan on the phone. then i...
View Articlebalance
on this day, all is right with the universe. i spent 5 more hours with Susan last night and every minute of it was superb. of course. she gave me a most amazing and beautiful gift and we talked and...
View Articleworry
is it normal to worry that she isn't going to like me? or isn't going to want to keep me around? and when am i going to stop missing her every second of every day? not that i don't enjoy the constant...
View Articleexhaustion
i had no idea how this reunion thing was going to go. i quite intentionally didn't try to imagine how the days and weeks and months following our initial meeting would go because that is one of those...
View Articlebetter
oh, thank you god, my brain is not wonky anymore. the exhaustion and eerie anxiety has passed and i feel like myself again. i spent the afternoon with my dear friend chris who has connected with me in...
View Articlewanderer
emotions are so dumb. i am for sure going back to not having them after this. i am like a zombie today. coming down from such a wildly fast and high ride is tricky. i was just talking to my friend...
View Articleflat
** it should be stated that i do not do vulnerability so well. and to offer the information that i am about to offer is so against my style. but i have tried all along to keep this blog honest every...
View Articlealmost normal
susan called today. she said to stop worrying that she doesn't like me. she also said that she has the same worry and together we decided that for both of us to have that worry at the same time is the...
View ArticleFlood
my voice cracks when i say things out loud that make me sad. it cracks and quivers and i don't like it. my voice--and my psyche-- did a little cracking while i was talking to my friend chris last...
View Articleback...
i have been away for a bit, i am aware. i was busy. :) busy getting to know susan and meeting members of my family and learning about other members of my family. and telling my friends and my other...
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Catch-Up Time...
my intention when i started this blog was that i would keep it up-to-date and document the reunion experience honestly in all of its glory and terror. it is still my intention to do something like...
View Articlesurprise, it's a girl!
i was still all crazy in my head when i was last maintaining this blog, so i imagine there are not many details about what we have actually been doing during all of this time that we have spent...
View Articleadoption cult
if you've been reading this blog from the beginning, you know that i went to the adoption reunion support group on march 14, and that within the hour following the meeting, Julie the social worker had...
View ArticleGrandpa
for one year, two months, and 14 days of my adult life, i had a Grandpa. and not just a Grandpa, but an amazing, gracious, loving, warm and wonderful man who embraced me as family from the moment he...
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